I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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