In the future we'll all be gay
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
