bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
