I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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