Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
