I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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