dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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