I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
