Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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