There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
