and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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