Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
