the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
