umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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