I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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