i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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