i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
