i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
i think my cat just said my name.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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