my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
