wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
