I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
