Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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