Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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