I am in a vortex of obligation.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
