I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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