Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
