She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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