if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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