I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
a search helicopter?!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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