I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
