you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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