were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
