I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
