So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
