You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She even gives head with a lisp.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
