she looked like the bat from fern gully.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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