She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
