the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
