i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
