i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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