it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
