On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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