i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
