i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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