dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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