He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Bring me that man meat
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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