dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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