Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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