i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Every concussion has its silver lining
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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