Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just gargled with NyQuil
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
