Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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